A Guide to Japanese Social Etiquette and Manners

The Japanese are known for being very polite and respectful, placing great importance on manners and etiquette in their daily lives. In 2016, the Tokyo Good Manners Project (TGMP) was started to help promote good behavior and raise awareness of manners in public spaces.

A key part of Japanese culture is omotenashi, or selfless hospitality. This idea is especially clear in the Japanese tea ceremony (sado or chanoyu), where hosts focus on anticipating and meeting a guest’s needs before they even ask. If you're planning to visit Japan, it’s a good idea to learn about some basic customs and practices.

Contents

• Social Norms in Japan
• Basic Rules at Onsen, Ryokans, and Simular Places
• Dining Etiquette and Table Manners
• How to Behave in Public Spaces and Transportation
• How to Behave in Shrines and Temples
• Basic Business Manners and Etiquettes

Social Norms in Japan

• Avoid talking too much or interrupting others. While this is a common courtesy worldwide, in Japan, people will not interrupt you when you speak, so it’s important to return the same respect. Always leave room for responses when speaking. It’s also considered polite to keep your voice low in public.

• Indirect communication. The Japanese are skilled at saying "no" without actually saying it. Responses may sometimes seem unclear or ambiguous, especially when you’re trying to get a direct answer. To navigate these conversations, pay attention to subtle cues like body language, eye contact, and facial expressions to understand the implied meaning.

• Be humble. Modesty is highly valued in Japan. Bragging is uncommon, even among highly accomplished individuals. A Japanese friend may downplay their achievements, often saying they still have room for improvement.

• Apologize. Apologizing for your mistakes is important. The Japanese have various ways to apologize depending on the situation. For example, "Sumimasen" is a mild apology for acquaintances or strangers, while "Gomen" is more informal and used with close friends or family. Some people may even offer "I'm sorry" gifts.

• Gift giving. Gifts are an important part of Japanese culture and are usually beautifully wrapped, even if they’re simple household items or souvenirs. Avoid giving sets of four, as the number sounds similar to the word for "death."

• More about gifts. Gifts are also given to show appreciation or to repay someone for a small favor. These are often sweets or treats.

• Receive gifts gracefully. When receiving a gift, it’s polite to avoid opening it immediately. Opening a gift right away can seem too eager and may make the giver feel awkward. It's best to wait for the right moment.

• Don’t ask for favors. In Japan, people typically don’t openly ask for help. It’s common to keep personal problems private and try to find solutions on your own.

• Don’t disturb others. Keep your voice low in public to avoid disturbing those around you. If you're staying in a place with close neighbors, especially after 10 PM, be mindful of the noise you make.

• Respect people’s names. In Japan, people usually don’t use first names. Instead, they use an honorific like "-san" after someone's last name. When addressing someone, use the same rule, especially with new friends and acquaintances. Among close friends, the honorific may change, such as "-kun" or "-chan" depending on the person’s gender.

• Don’t over-perfume. To be considerate of others, use subtle or minimal amounts of perfume. Strong scents can cause discomfort, especially in close quarters, as some people may have sensitive noses or allergies.

• Keep your distance. Unlike in many Western countries, shaking hands or hugging is not common in Japan. Instead, people often bow to greet, say thank you, or apologize. Foreigners are generally excused if they don't bow correctly. The depth of the bow varies based on the level of respect or apology being conveyed (15°, 30°, or 45°).

Basic Rules at Onsens, Ryokans, and similar places

• Cover visible tattoos. While some onsens in Tokyo and Kyoto may allow tattooed individuals to enter without covering up, the general rule is that tattoos are not permitted in public baths. Always check with the onsen in advance to confirm their policy.

• Wash up before entering the hot spring. Onsens are meant for relaxation and therapy, not for washing the dirt off your body. Especially in communal baths, where multiple people use the same space, it’s important to be considerate of others by cleaning yourself thoroughly beforehand.

• Take off your shoes before entering rooms with tatami mats. Always remove your shoes when stepping onto tatami mats, and be sure to wear socks as the mats are delicate. Avoid placing heavy luggage on them as well. When leaving your shoes in the foyer, position them with the toes pointing toward the exit, making it easier to put them on when you leave. This is also customary when visiting a traditional Japanese home.

Read more about Onsen Manners and Etiquettes.

Ryokan Etiquette Ryokan Manners and Etiquette Onsen Manners and Etiquette

Dining Etiquette and Table Manners

• Pour drinks for others. In social settings, it’s customary to pour drinks for those around you as a gesture of respect and appreciation. For coworkers, it’s a way of saying, "You've worked hard." When pouring, hold the bottle with both hands. If you're on the receiving end, raise your glass with both hands.

• Don’t refuse food. It’s generally considered rude to refuse food offered to you, not just in Japan but in many cultures. If you don’t like the dish, accept it anyway, but you're not required to eat it. If you're offered a drink you don’t like, it’s polite to leave the glass without finishing it. No one will refill or replace the drink if it hasn’t been “finished.”

• Wait for others to begin. At social gatherings, especially with coworkers, wait for the highest-ranking person to start eating or drinking before you do. In an office setting, this would usually be your manager or the head of the company. In a family setting, this is typically the father or eldest son.

• Kanpai! Drinking alcohol is a common bonding activity in Japan, especially among coworkers or friends. If you don’t like alcohol, it’s perfectly fine to choose oolong tea instead. Always say "kanpai" (cheers!) before taking a drink.

• Itadakimasu! Before starting a meal, say "itadakimasu" (thank you for the food) to show appreciation for the meal. When you take a bite, compliment the cook by saying "umai" (delicious). After finishing, thank the server or host by saying "gochisousama deshita" (thank you for the meal).

• Cover your mouth with a toothpick. If you need to use a toothpick in public, always cover your mouth while doing so, using your other hand, a napkin, or a handkerchief. If the piece is stubborn, go to the restroom to handle it privately.

• Don’t take the last piece of food. If you’re sharing a dish, it’s considered impolite to take the last piece. This often leads to a silent back-and-forth where everyone offers the last piece to someone else. If you're unsure, just ask, but note that it can put others in an awkward position.

• Use chopsticks properly. Never stick chopsticks upright into your rice bowl, as it resembles incense used in funerals and is considered bad luck. Also, avoid passing food directly from one set of chopsticks to another, as this resembles passing someone's ashes.

• Appreciate your food. Japanese cuisine is prepared with great care, and it’s disrespectful to alter dishes unless you have allergies or dietary restrictions. It’s best to enjoy the flavors as the chef intended.

• Oshibori etiquette. The oshibori is a wet cloth given at restaurants to clean your hands. It should only be used for this purpose—don’t wipe your face with it or use it for anything else.

• Handle plates carefully. When handling lids at the table, don’t let water from the steam drip onto the table. Instead, rest the lid at an angle on the dish to let the excess water drip back into the bowl before placing it upside down on the table.

• Rice first. Start with rice, then take a few bites from other dishes, and return to rice. This helps cleanse your palate and allows you to appreciate the flavors of each dish more fully.

• Don’t cancel a reservation last-minute. It’s considered impolite to cancel a restaurant reservation at the last minute, especially at upscale places, as it wastes the preparation already made.

• Return your food tray. Most restaurants or cafes have designated areas where you can leave used trays and plates to make cleaning up easier for the staff. If no such area is available, neatly arrange your items, with chopsticks on their holder and lids placed properly.

How to Behave in Public Spaces and Transportation

• Remove sunglasses and hats at temples. Always respect local customs, even if you don't follow the religion associated with the site you're visiting.

• Bow when entering the gate. This is a sign of respect when entering a temple.

• Be quiet. It’s important to maintain a peaceful atmosphere, as people at the temple may be meditating or praying. Avoid making loud noises or drawing attention to yourself.

• Respect the customs. When making a wish at a temple, follow the traditional steps without speaking your wish aloud:

  1. Bow twice
  2. Make your wish silently
  3. Clap twice
  4. Bow again

• Wash your hands properly. When using the temple's purification fountain, follow the correct order:

  1. Hold the water scoop with your right hand and rinse your left hand.
  2. Switch hands: Hold the scoop with your left hand and rinse your right hand.
  3. Pour water into your left hand and rinse your mouth, but do not drink from the scoop.

• Photograph appropriately. Avoid standing in the middle of the torii gate to take photos, as it may block the entrance. Also, do not take photos during ceremonies, as this could disrupt the event.

• Handle the Omamori with care. The Omamori is a lucky charm you can buy at temples. Once you open it, you risk losing the good luck it may bring. The amulet contains a small prayer, but nothing else inside, so it's best to leave it sealed.

Basic Business Manners and Etiquette

• Follow the hierarchy. In business settings in Japan, always be aware of the seniority of the people around you. Pay attention to the highest-ranking person in the group, or at least the person whose position is just above yours. You will often need to "follow the leader" when it comes to actions like eating, drinking, and making introductions.

• Arrive early. Punctuality is highly valued in Japan, so it's customary to arrive at least ten minutes early to any meeting. This shows respect for others' time and helps account for any unexpected delays or setbacks along the way.

• Be prepared. In Japan, as in many places, time is precious. Always come to work or business meetings well-prepared with any necessary documents, business cards, and other materials to ensure a smooth and efficient interaction.

Read more on Business Manners & Etiquette in Japan.

Check out our other posts on manners and etiquette in Japan! Business Manners & Etiquette in Japan Onsen Manners and Etiquettes Ryokan Etiquette Table Manners in Japan Tea Ceremony Etiquette This article was prepared by Kimono Tea Ceremony Maikoya, a leading Japanese cultural experience provider. Our award-winning tea ceremony has topped TripAdvisor's Top Experiences in Japan for three consecutive years and remains one of the best-rated cultural experiences in the country.